Happy Halloween.

Lets read a scary/creepy story.

I stared across the table at my best friend of 12 years, Curtis. We had just finished a delicious meal prepared by Curtis' personal chef. The after dinner conversation was boring, but then we started talking about some kid neither of us liked in high school.
"Remember Davis? From high school?" He asked.
"Yeah, yeah, wasn't he that really annoying kid that noone really liked?"
"The one and the same. Remember that time when he singlehandedly fought the twelfth grade in the snowball fight?"
"Oh yeah. Jesus I hated that kid."
"But wasn't he tasty?

Happy Halloween people.

Restart

Restart from the start.

Alright. I've decided to just wipe my mind, my heart and me out and start again. Erase all the goals, dreams and wishful thinking I have/had.

Next target, turn 18.

After that, who knows.

And once again, I'm giving up before even trying. It's better for everyone this way. Better if you don't know anything. If you need someone to cheer you up, I'll be here. But to you, I'm just a friend.

Wee

In all emoness, there's still a retard in me.

Makes no sense.

Walking through a casino.

I'm scared to play.
I'm scared to go for it.
I'm scared to lose.

People tell me.
Without playing, you'll never win.
I tell her, to fight.

How is it?
How is it that you're in my head?
It makes no sense.

A person of math and logic knows that the odds are stacked against him on the table.
And chooses to avoid playing.
A person of hope and chance knows that the odds are stacked against him on the table.
And chooses to play, hoping to win.

Am I being conservative?
Am I being pessimistic?

Stiffen that upper lip.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

If only I can scream out now.

嗟

人生为何那么复杂

不知道我在做什么
不知道我在想什么

你知道我好像喜欢上你

我好怕
我怕我又是在胡思乱想
我怕我又在做错事

你懂你一直在我脑海里吗?

Sitting here with my mind pounding over and over again.
What are you doing to me?

Gah

All the words that needs to be said,
all the thoughts that needs to be thought,
are all done.

Nothing left to do,
except wonder,
what are you doing to me?

Late.

Late.

That's what I always seem to be. Always one step too late.

Wake me up tomorrow.
I wish I can give you a sunflower.

Blind

Blind.

A blind man walks constantly in fear. The fear of getting lost. The fear of hitting something. The stick he uses helps a bit in navigation.

Give me a stick.

Song

我爱的人 不是我的爱人
她心里每一寸 都属於另一个人
她真幸福 幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨 她的爱怎麽那麽深

我爱的人 她已有了爱人
从他们的眼神 说明了我不可能
每当听见 她或他说「我们」
就像听见爱情 永恒的嘲笑声

Someone download this for me please! Wo ai de ren by Jordan Chan

Yea

You can fake a smile with your lips.
But you can't fake one with your eyes.

I'm smiling...because I have to.

MLIA

Today, while playing 20 Question, I had a girl's name in mind. Then I realised that I know very little about her. I think I'm falling for a stranger. MLIA

My days are spent wastefully stoning away at the computer. Need to read just my body clock back to school mode. Not really looking forward to school though.

Found out today that the shipment for my iTouch got delayed! I'm sort of regretting not buying it straight from a apple store, but fell for the laser engraving you can get from the online store.

Going gym/swim later.
Sometimes it's just your wishful thinking.

New Old Me

The new me.

I have purple/red hair now.
I just gotten a debit card.
I ordered a iTouch.

In many aspects, I can feel myself changing, evolving. I'm beginning to like time spent alone alot more compared to the past. And I'm not rushing as much as I did before.

Right now, I'm not really feeling anything anymore. I have this sense of suspended mindset. This numbing feeling.

I'm beginning to think I exist to play that role. That same old freaking role.

The new me. Not so much different.
You're making the same mistakes again.

Table for one.

"Table for one"

That was what I said at the entrance of thai express today.

Spent the entire day by myself, a first time for me. And I can say I enjoyed it.

Started the day as I always do. Sleep in till 3pm. Found myself on the MRT a while later on my way down to cityhall. Why cityhall? Why not.

Visited the people at canele and I got a free macaron. But I have to say caramel flavour isnt nice at all.

Bought two books today, both dan brown. The lost symbol and Da vinci code. I read da vinci code before but I lost my copy of the book. Sucks. And I just finished reading The lost symbol.

I was sitting at Suntec Starbucks with a espresso frapp and a chocolate cake, speed reading The lost symbol. Had my dinner at thai express due to a sudden craving for curry. No idea why.

The potatoes in my curry were undercooked and the curry werent that great anyway. Quite a disappointment for me.

In all, 'Alone' time was great. I took time of everything and just spent my time, worriless and carefree, reading. The silence really helped mediate.

And I finally get to say the phrase I wanted to say. Table for one.